![]() ![]() Less so with sleep paralysis it happens in a state that feels, from one perspective, personal beyond medicine (as dreams often are) from a second perspective, the experience feels like something beyond correction. With my various maladies over the years, it's usually been possible at some point in the experience to pull away and take a cool, objective look at the situation. ![]() This reluctance probably has to do with sleep paralysis feeling beyond doctors. But looking back on it I have a hard time understanding why waking up dead every morning didn't prompt me to some action. Granted, I tend to put off talking to doctors until situations are totally out of control, which was particularly true in my late-teens and early-20s. What's weird is that over those years I never talked to a doctor about the experience. The feeling lasted for an eternity, and then passed. And the other morning, bathed in a particularly sickly dawn orange light, I woke up just-dead again. I never actually died for very long via sleep paralysis, but I did spend many, many hours lying in dark rooms in a state of just-dead. Sleep paralysis itself feels like just-death or the crux of the dying process, or what you might imagine it to feel like when you're being afraid of dying. The distance often didn't feel like anything at all. The distance between what sleep paralysis felt like most times and actual death felt to be about three or four heartbeats and one terrifyingly labored breath. Between 20, they were after me every night, sometimes several times before morning, and I thought for sure that eventually I'd wake up once just in time to die for real. Sleep paralysis itself feels like just-death or the crux of the dying processįor whatever reason, the witch or demon left me alone for about 10 years. In a human history full of flayings, scaphism, and other wildly creative ways to induce misery in others, sleep paralysis remains even beyond our reach: the realm of demons. It's a sensation-slash-circumstance potent enough to generate enough folklore throughout human history to fill volumes, most of it gravitating towards the victim being tortured by witches or demons. Your body is capable of simulating suffocation in one highly bizarre and accidental circumstance known usually as sleep paralysis. So, terror is like pain for suffocation, like being psychically stabbed or burned, albeit with some help from body chemistry. ![]()
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